Yesterday, as part of my volunteer work, I was helping to lead a guided walk around the RSPB’s Inversnaid reserve. Unfortunately, the weather was poor so we could not find any tourists to join us.
It wasn’t all bad though. I did get to enjoy a beautiful cruise between Tarbet and Inversnaid. I’m so blessed to live in such a beautiful part of the world.
The Beltane Fire Festival has left me nursing an ‘energetic hangover’. Normal hangovers involve intoxication by alcohol and loss of water; energetic hangovers involve becoming intoxicated by other people’s energy while losing much of your own. I’m sure it’s a common phenomena.
Thankfully, I had the opportunity to attend the second in a series of healing workshops hosted by Jude of In The Moment: My Healing Space. You can read my in-depth review of the previous workshop here. This time around, I want to share an experience I had during the evening. I usually don’t share my experiences in the Otherworlds publicly, but my spirit family gave me permission to do so. During our practice of Yoga Nidra, the guided visualisation spontaneously lead me to the Otherworlds, and this is what I experienced:
Late at night, standing on an ancient hill, a cold wind cut through me like a knife. I was lost, and I cast my eyes skywards to seek out the North Star. I find him, and watch the Sky Bears race around and around him, blurring into streaks of light.
My gaze returns to the land, and I see the start of a bonfire. The flames licking up the sides of the woodpile, creating silhouettes of the figures gathered around it. I walk closer, and see familiar faces from the physical and spiritual realms; friends I haven’t been able to see for months or years. Joy, laughter, hugging. I move around, trying to give everyone some of my time, before the familiar sound of Red’s staff reaches my ears. Clack. Jingle. Clack. Jingle.
Red, how I love her. She brought me into the realm of spirit, and had kept me on the path. She pulls me close, into the folds of her robes, and I disappear for a moment before being returned to the gathering. Red draws her skull-face close to mine and tells me things, ancient things, in a language I don’t understand. But my heart does.
The Sky Bears vanish with the rising sun. Red pulls me away from the bonfire, towards the rising sun. I am to stand there, arms outstretched, welcoming the energy of Summer into my body. Red has work to do, and she begins weaving the threads of sunlight into orbs of healing energy. Her bony hands move over my body, removing pockets of depression, anxiety and rage. The spaces are filled with the light orbs. Songs from the time before humanity are sung by Red. The bonfire dies down as she works.
Satisfied with her work, Red takes me back to the fire. The embers are still glowing, and those gathered are taking pieces of charred wood home with them. A plank of wood catches Red’s attention. She pulls it from the ashes. With her staff, she taps me to the left of my heart chakra opening a space within me. In here, she places the piece of wood. With another tap, my body is closed up again.
The sun is high in the sky. Red’s work is done. It is time for me to return to the physical world.
One of the cow skull torches lining the path.
I was lucky enough to be taken through to Edinburgh to enjoy the festival organised by the volunteers of the Beltane Fire Society. It’s a popular event, and many people have told be to go before. This year it finally happened.
We witnessed the arrival of the May Queen and the Green Man, and followed their procession as they met numerous challenges on their way to bring Summer to our lands. It was a beautiful piece of pageantry and ritual. My words can’t really convey how spectacular it was, so luckily there is a Flickr account where you can see for yourselves!
Due to the crowds, we couldn’t follow all of the procession, so we focused on seeing a few events. I watched the May Queen and Green Man pass through the fire arch – which was amazing with all of the fire dancing. Next we witnessed the Green Man dance with the caterpillars and join with them in their metamorphosis as they were reborn as moths. Then we crossed the hill to watch His final battle with the remnants of Winter, and followed the procession to the bonfire.
My gift from the May Queen’s hand maiden.
We didn’t see much there – sadly the crowd was full of drunk and stoned numpties screaming about how they didn’t understand what was happening – so we went ahead of the crowd to the Bower where we had an amazing view of the handfasting of the May Queen and Green Man, before they presided over the handfasting of members of the Society. I was gifted a white rose by one of the May Queen’s hand maidens, and I’m not ashamed to say that it was a powerful, emotional moment for me. After all of the performers had their rest, the May Queen’s entourage were drawn into the dance of the Reds, the spirits of mischief, and the sexual energy of Beltane was made evident.
On a personal level, the festival was a rite of passage for me. This time of fire and renewal coincided with my return to Druidry. I took the fire inside me and it burns bright.
It was an amazing event. I’m grateful to the volunteers who made it happen and I’m grateful for the chance to have seen it. I hope to be there next year.
The Call for Peace, originating from Iolo Morgannwg and the Druid Revival, is a feature of many Druid rituals. In essence, the Druid will call to the quarters (the North, South, East and West) asking for peace to be present in the ritual. At the end, the peace is asked to remain and spread throughout the land.
It is a lovely practice, but it leaves me wondering; what is peace?
What does peace look like? Feel like? Is it a universal thing? Or is it highly individual?
Even if the idea of peace could take a form that each of us could agree on, I would still be uncomfortable discussing peace in such a way. I have to look inwards, to myself, and ask what peace means for me.
My peace wouldn’t be a thing of itself. For me, peace is the absence of something; the absence of conflict. Differences and disagreements are the natural way of humanity, we are all overly-opinionated apes, but often such disputes can erupt into torrents of aggression and abuse. I’m guilty of this myself, being a very volatile person. Most recently I have been a victim of this, having had to deal with some very personal attacks from the members of the Pagan group I used to work with. I’ve even been sidelined, having watched such hatred between two mutual friends spew forth over my Facebook wall.
I can’t stop events like this from happening, and enforce my vision of peace on others. What I can do is take responsibility for my actions and reactions. Guidelines for peace can be found within the contexts of our spiritual paths. For me, these are the ‘Qualities of an Upright Human Being’ and ‘The Brehon Laws’. Peace is about resolving conflict and enabling others to be the best person they can be.
My peace starts from within, through the practice of mindfulness and Metta. It then is expressed outwards as I try to live a ‘good’ life: by being patient, respectful, hospitable and honest. Will I always do this? Of course not. I get pissed off easily. But what I can do is try. I can try to keep the peace within me.
What form does your peace take?
Fae of the Hare
This Fae is in a close bond with the totem of Hare.
I wanted to try drawing something a little different, after the great response I had to my Selkie portrait.
(2013) | Staedtler fineliners on 297 x 210 mm bristol board
Prints, greetings cards and postcards are available from my DeviantArt Store.
The world is full of people, moving through their lives and sharing their stories with those who will listen. In the cries of birds, the scurrying of animals, the growth of trees and the movement of the wind there are stories abound – if only we stop long enough to acknowledge the voices of those who are other-than-human.
Here I stand, ready to walk my talk, and embrace my responsibility to my communities – my family, my ancestors, my land. In doing so, I ask for little in return but to share in the experiences of life – be they joyful, or sorrowful. On my fledging steps on the path of Druidry, I ask the Order to witness my commitment, and to be patient with me as I learn.
I am an eternal student, and the Land is my teacher.
- My dedication to The Order of the Yew, 2009
Over three years later, and Remembrance has brought me back to the path of the Druid. My heart still sings out to Eternal Blue Heaven, but modern Druidry is the expression of my heart-song.
My Druidry is not that of history. I have no link to the historical Druids; those supposed priests and lawmakers of ‘Celtic’ times. My Druidry is not that of the Revival. The fanciful tales born of the past and brought to life in the Industrial Revolution do not enliven my spirit; I do owe a debt of gratitude to these pioneers for aiding the return of Druidry to the here and now.
What is my Druidry? It is precisely that; My Druidry.
My Druidry links my beliefs in Eternal Blue Heaven with the spirits and deities of the Land I call home. My Druidry is my calling to express the energy and lessons of the Animals through my art and writing. My Druidry is the time and energy I invest in conservation through my studies and my volunteering. My Druidry is serving others in body and spirit, and holding space for them to be. My Druidry is connecting with the spirits of here and now, and having them inspire personal, real-world change.
My name is Emma-Jayne Saanen, and his is my rededication to the path of Druidry.
Selkies are mythological beings native to Scotland who live as seals but can shed their skin to live among humans.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selkie
(2013) | Staedtler fineliners on 297 x 210 mm bristol board (with a 1cm border)
Prints, greetings cards and postcards are available from my DeviantArt Store.
As some of you may be aware, I am on a path of personal healing. I’m treading water at the moment in my attempts to manage my fibromyalgia and BPD, so I am looking for new ways to heal myself.
My friend, Jude Murray of the Ceibhfhion blog, has started a new class at her In The Moment studios focused on creating a space and time for people to devote to their healing through the use of mantra, meditation and Yoga Nidra. I took this as a sign that I should try something new in order to help myself.
Aside from a handful of poses I had learned from a book, I have no experience of Yoga so I was feeling a little anxious about being in a class with more seasoned practitioners. I was not made to be self-conscious at all, and Jude spent time with each of us as we moved into each position. The focus was on Yin Yoga, which works on the connective tissues of the pelvis, hips and lower spine using gravity and body weight to hold the stretches. It was a little awkward for me to move into each of the positions (there’s no point in me fibbing about it!), but once settled the stretches worked wonders on my body at the points impacted by my fibromyalgia. I felt myself trying to communicate with my body, trying to understand why there was resistance. Answers were not forthcoming, but they are there. Hopefully time will reveal them to me.
The manta and meditation part of the evening was simply beautiful. Together, we chanted OM in a cascade of sacred sound which was pleasing to the heart, but the real magic began in the space left behind by the sound. We sat in that space, and I felt the residual energy expanding the space in my heart and mind. Just for a moment, there was a point of perfect connection with everything.
The evening was ended with Yoga Nidra, a practice I had not heard of before. I can best describe it as a deep relaxation, working with visualisation and affirmations. A moment in time where I was free from the racing thoughts in my mind, which carried me through the following days. My classmates and I had a discussion afterwards about what we had seen and who we had met on our travels through the other realms; it was pleasing to know that Yoga Nidra, and the class as a whole, had a positive effect on everyone there.
On Wednesday, as part of my Spring Equinox ritual with a friend, we went on a walking meditation around Kelvingrove Park, in the west end of Glasgow. Walking mediations are often a solitary pursuit, so it was a welcome change to have another soul to muse with.
Glasgow has a fine tradition of monuments and public art, and Kelvingrove Park is no exception. One sculpture called my attention more than the others because it didn’t seem to have human form.
The Bengal Tigress with Cubs
Before us stood a Tigress, bringing her Cubs a Peacock to eat. She is beautiful; standing tall, head held high, not afraid to show us just how terrible she can be. I look to her and see the Divine Feminine; woman as fierce, wild, confident. Not demure. Not apologetic. The Cubs refer to the traditional role of the Divine Feminine; that of the mother. The role of mother is a facet of womanhood, but we must remember that women are so much more than that. Like the Tigress, we can break free from the shackles of the Maiden / Mother / Crone triad forced upon most Neo-Pagan traditions. We can be defined in ways that are not determined by our ability to have children. Like the Tigress, there is so much more to being female. So. Much. More.
My heart beating fiercely in my chest, I look to the Peacock hanging lifelessly in the Tigress’s jaws. In my journeys, Peacock represents kindness, and the wisdom that thrives in the open heart. Has the Tigress cut down these qualities, in an attempt to show that physical strength triumphs over the emotional? No. The Tigress has brought the Peacock to her Cubs, so that they may become empowered with the qualities of Peacock, of kindness, and incorporate that into who they are. Tigress knows that her Cubs need to be exposed to life lessons that she cannot teach directly, and Peacock has taken the role of teacher in this scenario.
Walking meditations can reveal so much, and this one has uncovered a myth that needs writing. Or maybe, this is just a sculpture.
The photograph is from The Friends of Kelvingrove website.
Drumkinnon Woods, March 2013
Spring has arrived in Scotland, bringing with it a mix of blue skies, emerging flowers and the promise of Summer; but it has also brought clouds full to bursting with rain and snow, and a wind that can cut you like a knife.
When I think of Spring, I think of flowers; snowdrops, crocuses and daffodils mostly, as they raise their heads above the soil bringing some colour to the otherwise drab roadsides of West Dunbartonshire. Due to my illnesses, I have not had much chance to get out into nature since my Imbolc ritual. I made some time to head out into the woods with my mother and her dog.
Bluebells emerging
The snow was falling, and our breath was visible in the air. It took us a while to find some signs of Spring – some Bluebells are beginning to emerge from the earth, and we found one solitary grouping of daffodils braving the cold!
Flowers; what is their function? They are beautifully coloured and scented to attract insects that will pollinate them, allowing them to bear their fruits and seeds. I feel that now is the time to reflect on what we wish to attract into our lives to help us follow our own heart-songs. What do you need to attract into your life right now, and what can you do to attract it?
I am still working on these questions myself, but I will share my answers when they reveal themselves.
Fairy door, spotted by my mother
It’s been a week since the calendar Spring Equinox, but I held my ritual today in the company of a dear friend. It was an emotional day, but with both her and Ganesha I think I may be able to work around the emotional heartache that still resides in my heart. I want to train further, to develop my healing skills, and the options are there as soon as I can access the financial resources to support my practice.
On our walk around Kelvingrove Park, the Crocuses spoke to me of patience. Spring isn’t here yet, but it will arrive. My time will arrive too, I just need to trust. The Divine Feminine made herself known too, as “The Lady in the Lake” and as a Mother Tigress, and I shall write more about these later.
I wish you all a blessed Spring Equinox!